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My Dad's Gone Crazy (Original Version)

Intro:
[Tuning Tv]
[Eminem Snortin Crack]

Tv Presenter:
Hello boys and girls
Today we're gonna talk about father and daughter relationships
Do you have a daddy?
I'll bet you do
[Door opens]
Who's your daddy?

Hailie:
Daddy, what're you doing?

Eminem & Hailie:
Ok then! everybody, listen up!

Eminem:
I'm goin to hell, who's comin' with me?

Hailie:
Somebody, please help him!
I think my dad's gone crazy!

There's no mountain I can't climb
There's no tower too high,
No plane that I can't learn how to fly
What do I gotta do to get through to you, to show you
There ain't nothing I can't take this chainsaw to
[Hailey Makes Chainsaw Sound]
Fuckin' brain's brawn, and brass balls
I cut 'em off, I got 'em pickled and bronzed in a glass jar
Inside of a hall, with my framed autograph,
Sunglasses with Elton John's name, on my drag wall
I'm out the closet, I been lying my ass off
All this time, me and Dre been fucking with hats off

Dr Dre:
Suck it Marshall

Eminem:
So tell Laura and her husband to back off
Before I push this motherfucking button and blast off
And launch one of these russians, and blast off
[Hailie Makes Explosion Sound]
Blow every fucking thing, except Afghanistan on the map, off
When will it stop? When will I knock the crap off?
Hailie, tell 'em baby

Hailie:
My dad's lost it

Chorus:
Eminem:
There's really nothing else to say I, I can't explain it

Hailie:
I think my dad's gone crazy!

Eminem:
A little help from Hailie Jade won't you tell em' baby

Hailie:
I think my dad's gone crazy!

Eminem:
Theres nothin' you could do or say that could ever change me

Hailie:
I think my dad's gone crazy!

Eminem:
There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie

Hailie:
I think my dad's gone crazy!

It's like my mother always told me
[Eminem Impersinates His Mom]
Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana,
And codeine and God dammit, you little motherfucker
If you ain't got nothin' nice to say then don't say nothin'
Uh&
Fuck that shit, bitch, eat a motherfuckin' dick
Chew on a prick, and lick a million motherfuckin' cocks per second
I'd rather put out a motherfucking gospel record
I'd rather be a pussy-whipped bitch, eat pussy
And have pussy-lips glued to my face with a clit-ring in my nose
Then quit bringing my flows, quit giving me my ammo
Can't you see why I'm so mean? If y'all leave me alone, this wouldn't be my m.o.
I wouldn't have to go eenie meenie minie mo
Catch a homo by his toe, man I don't know no more
Am I the only fuckin one who's normal any more?

Hailie:
Dad

Chorus

My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise
And at the same time, make you dry your eyes
With the same rhyme see what you're seeing is a genius at work
Which to me isn't work, so it's easy to misinterpret it at first
Cuz when I speak, it's tongue in cheek
I'd yank my fuckin teeth before id ever bite my tongue
I'd slice my gums, get struck by fuckin' lightning twice at once
And die and come back as vanilla ice's son
And walk around the rest of my life spit on
And kicked and hit with shit, every time I sung
Like R.Kelly as soon as "bump n' grind" comes on
More pain inside of my brain, than the eyes of a little girl inside of a plane
Aimed at the world trade, standin' on Ronny's grave,
Screaming at the sky, till clouds gather as Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade
And that's pretty much the gist of it
Parents are pissed, but the kids love it
Nine millimeter, heater stashed, in two-seaters with meat cleavers
I don't blame you, I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither

Chorus

Eminem:
Crazy

Hailie:
Ha ha ha
You're funny daddy!