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You Can Call Me Al (Original Version)

A man walks down the street
He says why am I soft in the middle now
Why am I soft in the middle
The rest of my life is so hard
I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard

Bonedigger Bonedigger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away my well-lit door

Mr. Beerbelly Beerbelly
Get these mutts away from me
You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore

Chorus:
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al

A man walks down the street
He says why am I short of attention
Got a short little span of attention
And all my nights are so long
Where's my wife and family
What if I die here
Who'll be my role-model
Now that my role-model is

Gone, gone
He ducked back down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl

All along, along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations

Chorus
Call me Al

A man walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's the Third World
Maybe it's his first time around
He doesn't speak the language
He holds no currency
He is a foreign man
He is surrounded by
The sound, the sound
Cattle in the marketplace
Scatterlings and orphanages

He looks around, around
He sees angels in the architecture
Spinning in infinity he says Amen! and Hallelujah!

Chorus
Call me Al

Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na...

If you'll be my bodyguard
I can call you Betty
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can call you Betty